Mad Libs for Writing about Strikes

The commentariat and blogosphere sure love a showdown between a union chief and schools chief -- as evidenced by the flood of articles and posts this week on the strike in Chicago.  Unfortunately, about 90% of what's written is entirely predictable and, in the end, utterly useless.

Why?  Because almost every article is written using a secret mad libs cheat sheet that gets rolled out every time there's any controversy involving unions.  The result is that we could replace a few words in just about any piece to fit any strike or labor dispute anywhere in the country.  Regardless of the location, context, or actual issues at stake.  I've posted the cheat sheets below so that you can follow along:


For those opposed to teachers' unions

The [insert controversy] in [insert city] could be a turning point for educational reform in this country.  The union's [insert mildly derogatory adjective] leader, [insert name], has decided to place the needs of adults over the needs of children and [insert local leader] has finally stood up to make sure these children aren't forgotten.  While teachers and unions in most other cities have gotten the memo, the teachers in [city] are stubbornly clinging to the past; the evidence that value-added scores matter is overwhelming, and yet they're standing firm against the district's plan to use VAM scores to account for [X]% of a teacher's evaluation.  It looked like the union might see the light, but after [leader] said [quote taken out of context], it's clear that he/she has his/her head buried in the sand.  This is, indeed, a sad day for the children.  All hope of rescuing our abysmal education system now lie with [district/city leader], who seems to be embracing this challenge, saying [quote taken out of context].  We should all wait with bated breath while this most important of events plays out.


For those who defend teachers' unions

The [insert controversy] in [insert city] could be a turning point for educational reform in this country.  The union's [insert synonym for "heroic"] leader, [insert name], has decided to stand up for the rights of teachers and unions everywhere while [insert local leader] refuses to treat teachers like human beings and is determined to bust the union.  While teachers and unions in most other cities have caved and accepted the anti-union agenda, the teachers in [city] are standing up for their rights and what's best for children; the evidence that value-added scores are unreliable is overwhelming, and yet the district refuses to budge from their plan to use VAM scores to account for [X]% of a teacher's evaluation.  It looked like the union might cave, but after [city/district leader] said [quote taken out of context], it became clear that the union must finally decide that enough is enough.  This is, indeed, a glorious day for unions, the dying middle class, and potentially our entire country.  All hope of preventing the gutting of our indispensable public education system now lie with [union leader], who seems to be embracing this challenge, saying [quote taken out of context].  We should all wait with bated breath while this most important of events plays out.